How to have good manners in the U.S.
Having good manners and being polite are valued in the USA. Being polite in the U.S. might mean something a bit different than what it means back in your home country. Find helpful tips to engage with your new community.
What are good manners?
Good manners are actions that show respect and care for those around us. In the United States, what is considered good manners can vary depending on the situation and region. Learning about American culture can help you feel more comfortable when interacting with others.
General tips for good manners and politeness
Here are some ways to show respect and have good manners in the United States.
1. Greet people when you meet them
When meeting someone for the first time, it’s polite to say, “Hello” or “Hi, nice to meet you.” In professional settings, a handshake is common, though not required. Men and women both shake hands, and if you’re uncomfortable with this, you can place a hand on your chest and bow your head slightly as a polite alternative. If you meet the person again, you can say, “Nice to see you again” or ask how they are.
2. Make eye contact
Making eye contact is important in the U.S. It shows that you are paying attention and are engaged in the conversation. People usually make eye contact for part of a conversation, but not all of it. If you avoid eye contact, others might think you are hiding something or being unfriendly.
3. Respect personal space
People in the U.S. tend to stand about one foot apart when talking. Standing too close might make them feel uncomfortable. However, some people may be more physical and could touch your arm or hug you during a conversation. If that makes you uncomfortable, it’s okay to take a step back to make yourself feel comfortable.
4. Say “please”
Saying “please” is common when asking for something. For example, when ordering food at a restaurant, you can say, “I’ll have the soup, please.” If you don’t say “please,” people may think you are being rude.
5. Say “thank you”
People in the U.S. say “thank you” or “thanks” a lot, even for small things. For instance, if someone hands you a book, you should say “thank you.” It shows appreciation, especially when someone helps or tries to help you.
6. Say “sorry”
Saying “sorry” is common in the U.S., even for minor mistakes or accidents. For example, if someone bumps into you, they might say “sorry” or “excuse me.” It’s also polite to express sympathy, such as saying, “I’m sorry to hear that,” when someone shares bad news.
7. Table manners
When dining with others, there are a few general table manners to follow. Wait for everyone to be served before eating, chew with your mouth closed, and place your napkin on your lap. If the person who invites you to their home or event offers food, it is polite to accept or kindly decline with a “no, thank you.” It’s also considered polite to stay at the table until everyone is finished.
8. Cover your mouth when coughing, sneezing, or burping
People in the U.S. consider it impolite to burp or cough without covering your mouth. If you burp or pass gas, it’s polite to say, “Excuse me.”
9. Wait in line
People in the U.S. expect to wait their turn in lines. Whether at a store, bus stop, or event, people generally form a line. Cutting in front of others is considered rude. Most people will also wait their turn in an airplane aisle or when boarding.
10. Hold doors for others
Holding the door open for people behind you is a polite gesture, whether you are a man or woman. You will often see people do this for others, and it’s considered respectful.
11. Be on time
People in the U.S. generally value punctuality. Being on time for appointments, meetings, and social gatherings shows respect for other people’s time. If you are running late, it’s polite to notify the person you are meeting.
12. Use your phone discreetly
In public spaces or during meetings, it’s polite to silence your phone or use it discreetly. Avoid using your phone when someone is talking to you or during important events.
13. Respect diversity
The U.S. is a diverse country with people from many backgrounds. Being open-minded and respectful of cultural differences is important. Avoid making offensive or insensitive comments about someone’s race, religion, or background.
14. Engage in active listening
When having a conversation, it’s polite to actively listen. This means making eye contact, nodding occasionally, and showing interest in what the other person is saying. People in the U.S. value direct and attentive communication.
15. Tipping
In service industries, like restaurants, tipping is common and expected. A typical tip is 15-20% of the total bill for good service. You may also need to tip in places like taxis or hair salons.
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